As for today, I would like to type some words for you. Today, I wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. For the faults I've done, for the tears I've shed & for the anger I raised. I was confused & I didn't know. I was looking for an answer, an answer that would put a stop to this madness we're creating. I was lost, I didn't know which way to go & I got lost in all the painful lies. I crashed & I couldn't get up by myself. I was hurt inside & can't seem to find a cure to make it better. I was losing everything yet I managed to tell myself ... " don't worry, just keep going ... it's nothing ... you'll be okay. "
But little do I know, I was wrong. I was an egoistic person. I don't want to lose. So I kept on running, running forward to nothing & leaving all the sadness behind. I was afraid, so afraid that the same thing will happen again & again. And I was right all the time. Somehow knowing that I was right wasn't such a good feeling after all. Because I was right about something that I wanted to avoid all my life, not getting near to it. It's not my my fault, it's not !
I thought I was a new person. I thought I've changed for the better & good. I thought I was strong. But I'm not, I'm not strong enough. I keep telling myself it was okay but it wasn't. Everything went wrong all at one place. Tears started to run down my cheeks. I couldn't help it. I was dying. I was fading ... and so I wrote this letter to you, to tell you how much I love you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry ...
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